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FAWM 2024

by Aubrey Van Gelded

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1.
This Time 04:20
this time I’ll only know what you tell me this time I won’t say nothin at all far away and underground you’ve got me turned around this time I’ll simply close my eyes this time it won’t be so hard to swallow this time I won’t be thinking at all there’s a stranger in my mind circuits busy please standby this time there’s nothing sane or familiar and I used to be so alive and I used to feel so optimistic and I used to speak my mind and I used to be so afraid of nothing this time I’ll dance like nobody’s watching this time I won’t tremble inside out of phase and out of time my instincts have been realigned this time I’ll simply close my eyes
2.
Gasoline 03:09
You are what you are and I’m what you see you’re making me blue but you’re turning green I’ve tried to break it gently but you’re making such a scene you’re lighting a match in my gasoline I’m burnin’ a oooooh oooh burn it all again a oooooh oooh burn it all again you do what you do and I’m what you say your head on my shoukder at the matinee I can’t fix or eighty-six your problems by the way the bridges I burn help to light the way I’m burnin Ooo ooo etc I’m not tryina call you out no we both could use a friend I'm just tryin to figure out why I keep coming back again and again and again You are what you are and I’m what you see you’re lighting a match in my gasoline I’m burnin oooo oooo etc
3.
Cool Stuff 03:02
I’m not looking for a better day Qu'est-ce que c'est? the things you said yesterday left me in a valley I’ve been dreaming of sidewalks again but you’ll never know where I go yeah I’ve been dreaming of sidewalks again but you’ll never find this peace of mind Is there cool stuff up in the mountains and I was thinking you’re what time is for je t’adore I implore you to stop and think it over I’ve been dreaming of sidewalks again but you’ll never know where I go yeah I’ve been dreaming of sidewalks again but you’ll never find this peace of mind my bags are packed and I’m coming down got a tank of gasoline the time has come to blow this town I’ll be there by ten fifteen
4.
Words 01:49
you’re always talking talking talking nothing that you won’t say you wanna fill my head with words but my brain gets in the way maybe next time try some epistolary cuz you’re making me feel just like a dictionary I just wanted to tell you about my trauma surrounding cheese and why it’s so bad for me and WHY DON’T YOU JUST STOP I had this weird discharge and a dream the other night that I was sleeping and WHY DON’T YOU JUST STOP maybe next time try some epistolary cuz you’re making me feel just like a dictionary so very supernumerary
5.
Nobody 02:08
I see you uptown I keep my head down don’t want to talk about it walk away I’m such a fuckup you think I’m stuck up you’re always acting like you’re so risque you better buck up nobody’s coming to save you I know you know it but it’s not my job x2 another weekend another dead end another disappointment act surprised another update can’t keep your facts straight another crowd to be mobilized another bon mot you’re such a john doe I betcha think you should be canonized you do it all right you do it all night there’s one thing that should be emphasized no one wants to hear about your rich internal life kid sympathy malignancy you are so self-excited five by five you force a side and we are all divided scream and shout there is no doubt you already decided you better buck up nobody’s coming to save you I know you know it but it’s not my job x4
6.
Eldritch 02:58
moonbeam megaton little girl what have you done spilled the poison on everyone you’ve run to our lady of the despised beating hearts weaponized another insect to be analyzed and discarded walk it back or risk exposure turn around before it’s over run run rabbit run through the clover and chrysanthemum lies, love, hired guns and exile run run rabbit run there’ll be consequences when you’re done lies, love hired guns and exile little miss phobophile what’s within you that you so revile enchantment bile and extinction moonbeam megaton little girl what have you done spilled the poison on everyone you’ve run to walk it back or risk exposure turn around before it’s over
7.
you were a friend I hadn’t met yet I was clock that was running down I wasn’t very nearly dead yet but I knew that I soon would be if I stayed one more minute in this town I gave up long before you met me I gave up simply marking time yeah I gave up but now I’m not so sure and i begin to see that you and me might simply be in harmony or maybe i just got too high mistook the look misread your book the hooks i wrote the little notes the anecdotes remind me of the time before you seldom left my mind you were a friend I hadn’t met yet I was clock that was running down I wasn’t very nearly dead yet but I knew that I soon would be if I stayed one more minute in this town
8.
I'm Tired 00:56
I'm tired of all the things that I'm afraid to mention yeah I'm tired of all the things that I'm afraid to mention cause I never know who's listening I'm tired of all the things that I'm afraid to mention
9.
Pensacola 04:32
it’s getting weird here, in Pensacola Don’t think the sun should be that blue Maybe it’s COVID, maybe Ebola Maybe the week-old barbecue [chorus] Koyaanisqatsi’s got nothing on me This girl just wants to see it all Black crows are stealing, my mind’s annealing Some beast is about to make landfall [verse 2] Last night I saw them, behind the Bruno’s Their legs so long, their eyes so bright It doesn’t hurt them, the chlorpyrifos It only kills their acolytes [chorus] [bridge] Here we are Escuchar [solo] [verse 3] I heard it’s better, over in Mobile They’re yeeting cops into the bay I think I’ll hitch there, I think I’ll freewheel I think it’s time for judgement day [chorus] [bridge]
10.
I met you back in ninety-five yeah I was a dumb young thing was in love with bein alive yeah just wanted to hear you sing they told me you were out of style but I found you quite elegant held you close, deep into the night we were in our rock and roll element you stuck by me all these long years all the prog rock and zydeco into a future that was anything but clear and I don’t want to let you go we danced in the folk fest fire playin zeppelin with the hip-hop kids and though the years have left their marks I love you more than I ever did the slackers at the guitar store I see’em staring when you come around they’re all jealous of our easy rapport the way you’ve kept me spellbound you stuck by me all these long years all the prog rock and zydeco into a future that was anything but clear and I don’t want to let you go solo/bridge now my hair is goin grey but you still look like you always did and when I pick you up to play I feel just like that little kid who saw you in that guitar shop shining in the evening sun picked you up and tried you out and knew you were the only one
11.
Subtrahend 02:32
you came blowin in like a dandelion all over my back yard laying down a line I wasn’t really buying you sure can keep a girl on guard you came in like you owned the place I realize now that was your first mistake the things you do tell me a story that all your words can not erase you told me all about your secret traumas then went to bed ‘fore I told mine front row center for your monodrama both audience and punchline you came in like you owned the place I realize now that was your first mistake the things you do tell me a story that all your words can not erase you moved on and for that I’m thankful though you still trash me to my friends I’m not the only one who sees your angle or how you’ve split the subtrahend
12.
I know you're horrified celerity, country-fried woo-hoo I hope you realize celebrity enterprise woo-hoo (total gibberish) woo-hoo (laughter) There'll be something to say There'll be something to say Call me back when the love is radical I'll be on a rock & roll sabbatical little men getting so fanatical like Jackson spat and packed so autocratical Yeah I'm in love with your plastic friends straight seein' in the dark like a compound lens my Genz Benz ain't here to make amends Fender Bass aerospace on the low end I come from Philly but I shower weekly Sneak a peek but celebrate obliquely Reason 12 repeats the beats sweetly single-tail whip cuz your uncle think I'm freaky Tzadziki sauce on my Gyro Zone Kevin in the kitchen on the cellular phone Johnny's in his bunk with that OK tone Carson making pie that's fly on the pizza stone (solo) I know you're horrified celerity, country-fried woo-hoo I hope you realize celebrity enterprise woo-hoo (total gibberish) woo-hoo (laughter)
13.
Topheavy 03:40
You were top heavy I wasn’t ready it got so messy knees so unsteady frequently stress-y mondo depress-y Thought you were jokin that ish I was smokin though I was so broken I caught your eye spotted me lookin the beats were still cookin summer in brooklyn back to long beach smoked all my weed and followed you speeding summer is fleeting and so is love You were top heavy I wasn’t ready it got so messy knees so unsteady frequently stress-y mondo depress-y (break) coffee in red hook come-hither bed look leaving me so shook broccoli rabe but in the long run you weren’t a loved one ran off to kingston and licked my wounds (break) You were top heavy I wasn’t ready it got so messy knees so unsteady frequently stress-y mondo depress-y now just a memory now just a memory now just a memory
14.
Badfunk 02:27
I woke up at five in the afternoon today and I told myself I wasn't going to do another silly pastiche of James Murphy from LCD Soundsystem doing a silly pastiche of David Byrne I wasn't going to go out and learn anything about the history of my neighborhood I wasn't going to play badminton in the pool of an expensive Spanish resort I wasn't going to play with hardware synthesizers or transgenderize myself (any further than I'd already transgenderized myself which admittedly is a lot, not that you could tell by my voice or anything) because it's five-thirty in the morning and I've been consuming cannabis extract for the last 12 hours since I woke up I thought about what that strange taste in the corner of my mouth was I wondered what the quality of the air inside my house was I wondered how long you could let a cup of coffee with cream in it sit on the countertop till it's unsafe to drink I thought about putting this out as a FAWM song but it was just too easy I just sat in my basement and monologued watching the green input indicator of my audio interface occasionally bump into the red when I got emotionally moved by the items and things I that was recalling this is really hard to do for an extended period of time I suggest you try it Pretend you're Adrian Belew and it's 1983 and you're recording "Indiscipline" with Robert Fripp I looked at it for hours and hours and hours and I still didn't know if it was Tony Levin's bald head or the cantaloupe we had bought down at the marke the other day I took a bite and Tony screamed. Goodnight, America. Goodnight.

about

FAWM is February Album Writing Month, a time to drink coffee and write 14 songs in 29 days.

Aubrey Van Gelded is an aging cyborg rockstar lurking somewhere in the Midwestern United States.

Together, we bring you FAWM 2024. Love songs to a bass! Songs about people on the internet! Songs about Florida insects! IT'S ALL HERE, baby.

For a long time, I suffered writer's block. I was a bassist. And sometimes a multi-instrumentalist. But write songs? Nah, I'm not that talented. I don't have it in me. And then I joined FAWM and learned the power of persistence. And the occasional midnight pre-roll. This is my third year, and fourth release. And I owe it all to February Album Writing month.

So if you think you have some songs in you, and you have some free time to throw at it, please do come and join us. It's a wonderful community, an amazing listening party, and a grueling marathon, all rolled into one musical tiramisu.

Conceived of and recorded at Studio Les Ordures, February 1 to March 1.

credits

released April 5, 2024

Aubrey: bass, drums, guitar, vocals, synth, programming
Johnny Wallflower: Lyrics on Pensacola, synth programming on Topheavy

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Aubrey Van Gelded Milwaukee, Wisconsin

Aubrey Van Gelded is a poorly-programmed cyborg on the loose in Milwaukee Wisconsin.

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